Mind Wanderings Eleven through Twenty

Eleven

God you've got this
Way,
This "system" (if
You will)

Of touching me,
Holding me,
Loving me still.

But you know that,
Right?
I know you do.

Twelve

Take me on my
Virgin bed of gold.
Hold me, Kiss me,
Drink
Me.

Touch your lips to mine
Peacefully, lovingly,
Wantingly...
Till I mold myself
To you,

Permanently.

Thirteen

I have made a most
Fantastic discovery...

I now know
No matter
How loud the headphones
Scream,

I still hear
Myself.

Fourteen

How do I sound?
My whimpers,
And cries...

My own ears don't
Quite hear them.
They hear me going

Insane, Crazy on
The inside,

Where you are.

Fifteen

This place of sorrow,
Black rain,
Horrific memories of
Childhood pain...

Innocence lost, and
Love marred,
Battles, wars, wounds,
Wrists scarred.

Memories erased, I
See good...
I SEE good...
I see
Good...

Sixteen

Carefully,
She stacks them.

Perfectly,
Uniformly,
One on top of the next.
I'm thinking how
I would hate

To live with her.
Miss Perfection.

Yet how I watch her,
Fascinated.

Seventeen

This is the life, I can,

Watch the Wizard of Oz

Any damn time I
Wish, Not that I

Like too...

I just can.

And I can remove
The bandaids

From my latest
Death defying razor nic

I can study this item
For as long as I damn

Well please

And not so much from

Fascination,
But just because

I can.

And maybe, maybe
I choose to be alone...

Maybe, just maybe...

Its not because I want too,

As much as it is,
That I can.

Eighteen

Without you,
There is no tomorrow.

The days are

One endless time...

But with you,
With you...

Friday comes.

Nineteen

I look at them,

Two tiny jars,
Canning jars.

So cheap...a buck
For both...

But she will like them.

Oh how she will
Smile.

Twenty

Tasting myself on
Your lips,
A thrill runs the
Length of me.

So fierce, so hot...

I can not help
Myself.

You kill me.
(a thousand times
or more)

You've killed me...

The desire in your
Eyes...

Your hands...

I am left with no
Choice...

No other need...

I look at you,
(So beautiful you are)

And I must be,
Loved.